Cool Sunday Blue

1. Extreme Yarn Closeup, 2. Untitled, 3. Pair of Penguins, 4. 155, 5. Babette blanket, 6. Dinnertime, 7. top of the web, 8. tree house quilt, 9. DollQuiltFront

N is for New Perspective

It’s funny how right around the time I get sick of London, sick of the noise and the struggle, tired of the thirteen-hour days, and downright fed up with the people, we go and do something really frickin’ cool like this:

London from a Bicycle: last Sunday’s Hovis Freewheel

Black Holes and Holiday Hysteria

Sorry for the slow response – I just jumped into a black hole briefly.  Thank you all for the very encouraging comments on the move.  T gave me a heart attack the other day by suggesting we stay here – my exact reaction was “But I’ve told the Blog…we can’t not go now!”  Luckily the weather was foul on Monday and it took him two hours to get to work, so he u-turned right smart on that crazy suggestion!  As to where, weeeell we are not quite sure at the moment.  The current plan consists of getting over there, hanging out with his family in NZ for a bit, and then visiting various places to see where we feel most at home.  But I can say that Sydney, Melbourne and Perth are all strong runners.

Knitting feels like trudging through a black hole at the moment too.  The DILIHB3 continues apace, with just the right front to finish up, although things will come to a screeching halt in the next few days as I am just about to run out of the yarn I am using – balls!

I added up the number of Christmas gifts I have to knit/make in the next three months – of course, this on top of all the wedding crafting I had planned.  The term ‘out of my ever-loving mind’ seems appropriate here.  Four pairs of socks, two and a half scarves (being slightly clever here completing a half-done WIP – mwah ha hah!), three sets of embroidered tea towels, two pairs of pajama pants, four and a half hats (again with the mwah ha hah), five pairs of gloves/mittens, four teddy bears AND a stole for my mum.  Oh, and a sweater for himself.  So, no sleep for me, then.  And I think I might have to post the list in full in the sidebar – maybe that will motivate me (“I’ve told the blog now, I can’t not knit it…”)

M is for Moving

It has been a little tricky posting recently, as I have not been entirely honest here.  For example, many of you suggested after this post that I look for a new job, and while normally I would not hesitate to look for something more fulfilling, that is not currently a sensible option for me.  Similarly, I spoke about perhaps going back to school in my last post, but was not able to explain why that might be necessary.  Quite simply, dear ones, we are moving.  And not just across London, not just within the UK.  In Spring 2008, T&I plan to up sticks and head South, way South, to Australia.

And you know what?  I am simultaneously ecstatic, terrified, excited and extraordinarily sad.  This is it, this is for good, and it breaks my heart to think about all the things I am leaving behind, not least my friends and family.  But there is good cause for this change.  Our intention with this grand departure is to move our little family of two to a place where we feel comfortable in putting down roots so that when (or if, but hopefully when) we start expanding our family, we have the freedom, the quality of life and the security we feel we either cannot afford or simply cannot find here in the UK. 

Ultimately, this is the best decision for us and for the life we want together.  I will miss so many things about England, of course, and not least my friends and family.  The benefits outweigh the disadvantages, however, and I am thankful that we have this opportunity to move, before we have other responsibilities to consider.  I will say this though: the transition to a new life on a new continent in a new hemisphere will be all the smoother for knowing you, my friends, who will happily lend a cyber-ear in my times of trauma and stress.  Hey, I might even get to meet some of you in person!

L is for Languages, Law and Learning

I have always envied my brother.  From a young age, he has been absolutely clear in his mind as to the career he wanted to pursue when he was older.  For me, it was a little more of a struggle.  Perhaps stemming from my fear of making a bad decision, I have oftentimes relied too heavily on the input of others to make my choices.  So, instead of doing Art, English and Spanish at A level, I took Chemistry, Biology, Maths and Spanish.  Someone thought I should be an engineer, as that way I would have a good career path.  Trouble was, I am not a natural scientist, and ended up flunking out of Chemistry within a term.  As it was too late to start a new A level, I continued with the slightly odd combination of Biology, Spanish and Maths, adding English Language AS level (half an A level) in my Upper Sixth.  Then, I managed to let someone talk me out of doing a Law degree, and ended up taking Spanish instead.  Which actually ended up being one of the best decisions I ever fell into – with the exception of a month-long glitch in my second year, I loved my degree, and genuinely enjoyed the subjects I studied.  Of course, the year out in South America helped enormously, too!

Determined to carry on with the law thing, I went on to do post-graduate studies in law and specialised as a barrister.  I have a couple of photos of me in wig & gown, taken on my ‘call’ date (effectively graduation for barristers), but I tend not to dwell on them, as part of me is sad that I have been unsuccessful in getting through the next stage of the training.  Taking on a law career in the UK is a huge gamble: the training is expensive, the risks are high—with only 500 training placements for well over 3000 applicants—and the outcome is often disappointing.

Regardless of my experiences with learning up to this point, it seems invariable that I will need to do further learning in the future.  Nowadays, so many people have degrees and further education, that to stay ahead of the curve we need additional skills and qualifications, particularly in the blue chip workplace I seem to have ended up in.  Now I just have to run the idea of a Masters past himself…

Feelin’ groovy

Something has shifted. I feel lighter, more in control, dare I say it, happier. Lord knows how long it will last, we have another big week coming up at work, but for the moment, I can say the clouds have lifted. Metaphorically, at least. The weather seems to have turned the corner into autumn. The ‘orgasmic’ M&S adverts have changed to reflect the new seasons bounty, with warming roasts and steaming, fruity puds muscling out the salads and crisp, Lambrusco-esque wines. And then, there’s the knitwear.

I checked out the Vogue Knitting 25th Anniversary edition, and while there aren’t many patterns in it that I would want to knit (again. Really, I don’t know why I bother, every time I am so full of hope, and every time I realise that I am so not Vogue Woman), I am loving the bulky and the cobalt blue and the greys that featured heavily on the catwalks. So, in an attempt to kill two trends with one knit, I took some Lamb’s Pride from the stash (how good am I? Let’s not mention the fact that I probably don’t have enough and will need to find some more…) and cast on for this Drops Swing Jacket yesterday. Bulky knitting = Love, especially when apparently I am pathologically obsessed with knitting socks. One sleeve down, five parts more to go. Some Ravellers have said that the pattern is obtuse, but to be honest, I think it’s just a European thing to write an entire sweater pattern in two paragraphs.

I also cast on and have made some progress with the Blustery vest from My Fashionable Life, but my inner child has the attention span of a flea, and so far the bulky knit is winning out. I am studiously trying to avoid too much time spent on the Knitty site, although again, not much catching my fancy this quarter.  Of course, this isn’t getting the Christmas knitting done – thank goodness for last minute etsy purchases, I say.

Edit: Thanks, all, for the comments on the Swing Cardigan, or as I like to call it, the Drops-it-like-it’s-Hot-Bulky-Blue-Bonanza (DILIHB3?)  The yarn is Brown Sheep Lamb’s Pride Worsted Weight, used double, in ‘Blue Heirloom’ which is a really beautiful and glowy shade of blue.  The pattern is good in that it gives you the option to knit in bulky or worsted weight, but I figured that my first adult-sized sweater stood a greater chance of getting finished if I knit it in quick-as-you-like bulky weight.  Of course, this does mean that I am likely to run out…*sigh*, oh dear, I shall have to buy more yarn, what a disaster!

K is for Knitters

This was going to be K is for Knitting, but you darned knitters just rock my socks.  I never experienced a group of women so damned generous with their time in all my life.  From the comments on each others’ blogs, to the help and advise that are freely shared on Yahoo! groups, the Knitty boards, Knitting Daily and Ravelry, to volunteering for charity knitting projects, knitters really are a marvellous bunch. 

All of which leads me to this: a while back Maijamirjami nominated me for the Rockin’ Girl Blogger award that has been going around and now I get to nominate some of you -

Clare @ Words & Stitches (because she is extremely clever, well-read and green-fingered)

Meshell @ Little Miss Meshell’s Corner (yes, you do count – anyone who tackles lace as their first knitting project is definitely a knitter-born)

Melissa @ tinyhappy (for being an inspiration as a crafter and a mum)

and I re-nominate Maijamirjami @ Neulojan nurkkakunta (because, well you know why, plus your kitten is adorable)

Thank you for coming into my life, lovely ones, and please, please keep on rocking!

J is for Jolly, Holly, and other words ending in ‘olly*

Can you believe it is only 100-something days to Christmas!  Ok, so I suspect many of you may not share my enthusiasm for the holiday, but I adore Christmas so much.  Every year around September-time, I start to get the call of the cold and the lights and the fires.  T asked me the other day why I get so worked up about Christmas, and I think it has something to do with so many years of going back to boarding school after the wonderful summer holidays spent with my parents, and knowing that Christmas was the next time I would see them.  That and I’m a sucker for that ol’ Christmas spirit (and twinkly lights and glossy packaging, but please don’t tell T I said that, he who despises Christmas advertising.  Rightly so, of course, but where’s the fun in that?) 

Christmas this year will likely be a subdued affair, what with a wedding not a month afterwards (on which, an update: we spoke to our local vicar yesterday, and have almost found a replacement venue, so other than moving it forward a week, we seem to be back on track.  Sorry for the freak out – so many little problems caused me to panic a bit).  I had been saying I would knit/craft presents for everyone, but that is so unlikely to happen that I have almost given up the ghost, especially as I have shrugs for bridesmaids to knit as well, plus maybe a shawl for me.  I have been doing some judicious etsy shopping to cover my bases with the wee cousins, so really it’s only my parents, Mr. T (the sweater-curse doesn’t affect fiancés, right?  Right??!!) and grandparents to worry about.  I won’t post a list, because I will just fail to knit anything on it and then be cross, but I would like to know: who are you crafting for this year, and what are you making?   

*Pratchett fans: name that book!

::pause::

Thank you all so much for your sweet words. I know these things shall pass in time, and I think I just need to take time to pause and suss out a plan. The world will keep turning, all arguments will be forgotten, we will get married somewhere, and I am grateful I am able to work and have a job to go to. And most of all, I am grateful for you, my friends, for your continued support and kindnesses. Thank you.

drowning, not waving

One of those days…where I can’t stop crying, even though I am at work…where the very thought of this stupid wedding fiasco makes me want to flee the country…where the realisation that I have to start all the bloody planning again makes me want to call the whole damn’d thing off…where nothing gives me comfort…where the only thing that makes any sense is the sound of my sweet love’s voice, cruelly stolen away by work commitments…where I want to scream and rail against those closest to me…where my job drains my soul away hour by hour until I am left hollow save for a huge weariness…where it is all I can do to keep this aching head above water moment by moment…where I want to curl up and sleep for a thousand days…where I just want to stop.  And breathe.